Temptation: Confessions of A Marriage Counselor

Despite the fact that this movie will be promoted on account of Kim Kardashian, whose role appears to be very minor (THANK THE LORD), the main character is actress Jurnee Smollet- I like her. The plot looks exciting and overall the movie may speak to some of our tied down souls who are yearning for more... or something like that. Tyler Perry is going for the erotic thriller-lets see how that goes.

Estes Park Wedge

Will be adding these to the collection as well. 

Kicking it, like a foot and a knee

Random nights of Tosh.0 can bring me so much joy as I sit and laugh at the world of viral videos.   What we have here is a young man and an older gentlemen involved in some sort of altercation. Lesson to be learned: clapping and talking smack will and does not protect your face from a little foot to chin action. Climax 1: " The epic fall". Climax 2: " Epic fall the sequel". Climatic Conclusion: " The Getaway".

Don't believe me, just watch

The struggle of trying to pick a watch. I have been wanting a new one for a while and so I began my quick search. Not sure as to which one I will end up with yet. 

This one has my favorite color. BLUE. 

Rose Gold. My preference.

Spunk. I like for my ish to have a bit of a twist

Chocolate Craving Boot

I intend to have these in the near future

Out for An Adventure

I very much so dig these. Its the hippie in me I tell ya. 

Welcome to the Sun

I can see myself in this. 

You Should Know

They Die By Dawn

Shoot outs and Bounties. Thats pretty much all I got from this.

Everything is Purple

Morning

Sometimes, I wake up and this is what I want to hear off top.

Come Back

One of my favorite scenes from the Five Heartbeats. Leon had my girl passed out in her seat next to her husband. Welll damn.

Ray Charles

The things you will learn about and/or see at a bar. I was impressed. 

Gyote Cover

Good covers are worth a listen. Rudy Currence and BC put their own spin on GYOTE's 'Somebody that I use to know'.

Her Stories

My mom has had this book for years. I use to love reading it, so yesterday I had story time with my 2yr old God daughter.

She was caught up by this picture (as was I when I was younger) in the story "Mary Belle and the Mermaid".  

Got Me Good

Ciara has proven one thing to us for sure- she can dance her ass off.

The Weeknd: Enemy

Where is the Love?

Where to start? First and foremost, I am horribly disgusted! I can not stress enough how bothered I am by abuse. Furthermore, I can not stomach the idea that some people find videos like this funny. A few weeks ago, I watched the super "hilarious uppercut". I did not find anything about that to be amusing. As mature adults, we should be able to see something like the Ohio incident or this young man, known as Lil Reese, and automatically know that there is an issue.  An issue that is no joking matter. The problem is not just the fact that we are witnessing men abuse women, but women abusing men. The larger picture illustrates that we have to address violence, and more specifically, violence within our community.  It pains my heart in a way that I can not explain, to watch black folk inflict pain upon ourselves. The hate and misplaced anger is outrageous and instead of finding such acts to be funny, we really need to think about how abuse/violence/hate/anger will lead to the erasure of our people. We have men beating on women, we have children killing each other as a result of gang violence, we have men and women locked away, children left to raise themselves, disconnects amongst the old and young, a lack of family units or a feeling of general kinship- the list goes on. I most certainly do not have all the answers, and I wish I did, but I do know that laughing and encouraging this type of behavior is deadly. It's deadly to that young man, that young woman ( who is the mother of his child by the way) and our community as a whole. 

"Scary" is the only word I know for the day and age we are living in. We are too insensitive and removed from the realities of the world. People die. I don't think that is understood. Die- wiped from the earth- and for what? I don't know what Lil Reese and his baby mother were arguing about, but to come into her space, threaten her, punch her and then commence to stomping her out is barbaric.  It is also a reflection of how jacked up things have gotten. Where is the guidance and better yet, where is the Love? May seem corny, but love is what is missing. Love for ourselves and love for others. It is clear that when we see footage like this, those persons involved need love and help. 

There is so much that can be said, but my thoughts aren't all here. Its just pitiful to know that there are videos like this circulating the web and that people will still support this young man, when he needs to be counseled.  I can not support anyone who inflicts unnecessary pain upon another. You fight to defend yourself. Period. Point. Blank. I certainly can not endorse the destruction of a Great People.  With that said, all I can do is pray and keep trying to educate myself and others who want to be informed. I hope that we reach a point where we realize we won't need "the man" to break us down or kill us off, because we are doing a fine job ourselves.  The shit has to stop. 

Cloud Atlas'

A new movie that I think is worth watching. It is hard these days to find something new and refreshing, but what I love most, is that its magical! Halle Berry and Tom Hanks are in it, so the cast is already a win! If all goes well, I will be in the movie theater tomorrow with my feet up and a Kleenex ( I'm sure I will cry, but that's OK).

Kids These Days

In reality I am a music head. I love it all. Thankfully, I know some other music heads who make sure I stay on top of things. Got word about this group, Kids These Days, who have fused jazz and hip-hop together with some vocals. Their music videos are pretty dope too annnnnd if you really like them you can catch their concert at the Black Cat in DC Thursday, December 6 2012.

Howard Homecoming Hair Styles

My hair was featured on the Essence Magazine Website!! :)

Plenty of cool looks.... check them out

http://photos.essence.com/galleries/street-style-hair-howard-universitys-homecoming

DUAFE

"Beauty and Cleanliness"

My Wooden Comb

Two Tones

New Hair. Martha at Jaha Hair Studio is theee best.

HU Cardigan

Homecoming was so necessary. I love my HBCU

Yea yea, ah
Similar ways, similar game
Starting to feel the similar pain
Are you sure we haven't met before?
I know ya face, I know ya name
But I don't know you?
Isn't that crazy? isn't that crazy?
I think we may be
In a different book
On a different page
You said you are different
But you're the same
Stranger.

I can not tell you,
How many there have been
That were just like you
I do not need you
Cause you're just like them.

I meet em' everyday..
They...all seem to be the same.
Lame. okay?

I meet em' everyday..
(ohhh ohhhh ohhhh ohhhh ohhhh)
They...all seem to be the same.
It's strange.

Ah.

Familiar time, familiar place
Starting to feel the familiar shame
Cause I know what you have come here for.
You know my name, you know my face,
But you don't know me? you must be crazy.

Or I must be crazy. or is it maybe...
Ive been here times before and
I've said yes, meaning no but oh...
Alot of shit has changed. lot of shit has changed.
Lot of lot of shit has changed.

Didn't I tell you what all the rest have done?

They were just like you, they have all tried to.

You're not the only one.

I meet em' everyday..

(meet em' everyday meet em' everyday)

They...

All seem to be the same.

(they are all the same they are all the same)

Lame okay?

I meet em' everyday..

(meet em' everyday meet em' everyday)

They...

All seem to be the same.

(they are all the same, they are all the same)

Its strange.

I think we may be

In a different book

On a different page

You said you are different

But you're the same

Stranger.

Artist: Jhene Aiko
Song: Stranger

2nd Presidential Debate

For those of you who missed it. I don't really want to get into this debate too much. I will say this- I was intrigued by the responses to questions regarding equal rights in the work place for women and the lack of talk on education. I was happy that the issue of "cheating China" was brought to the forefront.  

Inspiration

"The very best proof that something can be done is that someone has already done it"

-- BERTRAND RUSSELL

I think about this when I start to feel a tad bit defeated. It brings me comfort to know that its true and there is proof in the pudding- just look at the people who are getting the "impossible" or "silly" shit done!  *Salute* So, keep in mind the the saying " Been there, done that"- it holds weight. 

ZOYA

 These will join my collection at some point! I have never used this brand before, but after seeing one of my Instagram follows post pics a few times, I had to explore for myself. I found these lovely colors on the Zoya website under seasonal colors. They are rather luxurious and I can't wait to try them out! Best thing is, they are only $8. That may seem like a lot for nail polish, but its not too bad. I saw some polish that was like $20 once... needless to say, it was left at the store. 

 http://www.zoya.com/content/38/category/Orange_Nail_Polish.html

Shaws, Wraps, Cardigans and Ponchos.... I have a deep affinity for. 

African art shop in ganvie village, Benin

By VérOooo

 

http://flickrhivemind.net/Tags/pilottis/Recent

A future style I plan to get. Possibly those earrings too. 

"Up, Up and Array"

.... signs outside the bar.

I'm a bit of a nail polish junkie. I am a collector of colors and tend to fall in love with names.  Neon is in!! SO, when I saw this I couldn't help but bring it home with me. To be truthful, I actually do dig it.  I can get a little amped up, which I did with this color, and came straight home to put it on. The picture above is just a quick nail job that I did to test it out. I only used two coats of color and a top coat.  For better results, especially with neon colors and things of the sort, apply a base coat of white prior to putting on the color.

Brand: Milani
Color name: Totally 80's

The mood I'm in....


Artist: KING
Song: Hey

New Kanye. Dope sample. Not much else needs to be said!

Relationship Revelations Ep. 1

Whenever there are two or more women in a cicle discussion, the topic of relationships is bound to rear its head. Discussing men, love, marriage, sex, kids etc is not uncommon. In fact, its super common. Almost annoyingly common. But, I would be a huge liar if I said I didn't participate or have some commentary to add here and there. The last few conversations I sat in on/contributed to, left me thinking...

A co-worker said that the relationship with your first boyfriend- i don't mean the sucka you held hands with in elementary school- shapes how you interact or view relationships afterwards. Pretty much saying, that your first boyfriend jades you. Now, I could agree with that and when I was 22, I probably would have. Not to say I am this super mature being, but I do credit myself for growing up and being a critical thinker.  I can't blame my first boyfriend for failed relationships post him, or my behavior while I was in them. I can't blame the second or third either. I realized that any unhappiness, pain and sorrow I experience is of my own doing. Let me expound....

Its not to say that the interactions you have with other people inside relationships does not influence your development or taint your mental/physical/emotional state - because they do.  I am not saying that you are the sole reason for all your anguish. To get personal, I haven't had one boyfriend who was the alpha and omega and I am sure they would say I wasn't either for whatever reasons. But, its okay because we were and will forever be growing people who have to learn. However, at a certain point you start to figure out what you want, need and like. The problem though is ensuring that you get it- which brings me to the next topic that has been getting a good deal of my mental energy- desperation.

A friend and I have concluded that women have this issue where we are super desperate for love, affection and attention. We see a "man" as validation, even if that "man" aint shit. A "man" validates beauty and how much you are wanted. As I get older, more women are fearing that the lack of a "man" means you will end up a spinster because you won't get married. *blah, blah, blah*. I put "man" in quotes because most of the "men" we deal with who aren't mature enough to provide what we need and want, are just "boys" who think that we are play action figures or something. The real issue though is the fact that we let them. See, it doesn't have to be a "Niggas aint shit" campaign. We could just do a " I want more and you aren't doing it for me" rally. 

 If we stop feeling like we need a "man" to feel good, then we would be much better off. At the same token, we could also work on ourselves so that we are ready for a Man. Once we are confident enough in ourselves to be without, we will see oceans full of fish who want to be hooked. Its never easy to walk away from someone you love, I get that. I have been there. It took me a while to leave just about every serious boyfriend I had. I mean, like the breaking up process was forever- like longer than the relationship itself forever. One of the most recent ones led me to beg this question of myself " why are you doing this?" and when I didn't have an answer that was true to me, I just stopped worrying about him.  I have no negative feelings toward him and hope that he finds his peace and happiness in all that he does. I just realized that I need and want much more. The way I saw it was this, the longer I spend time going back and forth in a relationship that is going no where and has me feeling cruddy, the more I am passing up on meeting and being with someone I could have a healthy relationship with - I think that's what pretty much had me sold!

These dudes be acting up, and we just be letting em. SMH Desperation, amongst other factors, is the cause for this. When you are thirsty, you can become delusional. Think of being in a desert without water and seeing a huge Mr. Kool-Aide guy filled with water-  yea that's called a mirage. This same mirage exist within relationships when you are thirsty- you get crazy and start thinking the relationship/man is something it isn't. I can only say this because we have all been there. I've been thirsty for love...shit who ain't. But we have been quenching our thirst with flavored sugar water (Kool-Aide) and over time that shit turns out to be no good for you. I'm trying to get that good ole PURE H2O and a tall fucking glass of it. In order to do that, I have to be OK with walking away from anything or anyone who is not giving me what I deserve. I don't expect to obtain perfection-shiiit I ain't perfect. I just want something that's real based off of my own standards. Be the best Man you can be in order to maintain a relationship with the best Woman that I am. If a "man" ain't given you no act right, let that piss ant go. Trust me, there will be others. No need to stress it. As my beloved friend would say "soon come baby". Everything is going to happen how and when it should, but if you don't make space in your life for it, then you will really end up bitter and you will be responsible for that.

Remember, no one can make you feel any way unless you let them. People will do to you what you ALLOW them to do. So overall, I can't blame anyone but myself. That's not to say that these dudes in my past weren't assholes or didn't do some fuck shit- which Karma always takes care of- but I played a large role in how they treated me by staying around too long. I am glad I figured that out and am sure that there is much more to learn.  To be honest, I look forward to what else the world has to offer now that I'm no longer desperate for half ass love. Don't nobody got time for that! Nobody- including you.

Be Love, Peace and Light Y'all!

Its Adele...how could I NOT post it. *shrug*

Let me apologize in advance. I know people are tired of Chrissanna- like what I just did there- but I just can't help myself. I feel for them -young and in love and doing all of that in the spotlight. I still have my concerns for Rihanna, her face and well-being. Yet, at the end the day, these two adults are going to do what they want to do. Its "clear" that they love each other. I mean, the man posted a video so she knows it real- just in case tatting her beat in face on his neck wasn't enough creepy evidence. We all knew this was coming. We knew they were going to get back together, they just had to play their roles. Now that the restraining order has been lifted and that one girl is out the picture, they can resume their suck face fest.  I do hope that Rihanna chooses to do otherwise and acknowledges that you don't have to be with someone to continuing loving them. Its like you may LOVE some peanuts, but if that shit makes your throat close up and you can no longer breath, then you shouldn't eat em.  Doesn't mean you don't still love nuts,Ya dig!

*sigh* Just looking at this still picture before hitting play, makes me weep. I cry for the use to be wonderful career of Eve. She is no longer the pitt bull in a skirt. She has laid to rest her hard core bark and bite, to be a "well groomed" poodle in a tutu. SMH. I want EVE back... the real EVE. This song is bad, very bad- and not in a good way.

"Leap tall buildings in a single bound" This man came to his woman's rescue and when he was taking a few blows, his woman tried to come to his aid too. I believe that this is how a couple should get down in the event that one is disrespected in the same/similar manner.

I found this clip to be highly entertaining. I shed tears, I laughed so hard.

Scenario: Cop confiscates marijuana and decides to make brownies with his wife.
Problem: He and his wife probably ate more than they should have, OR the weed they cooked into their betty crocker mix was spiked!
Lesson Learned: Don't take other people's shit!

Teachers who go hard.... got to respect it. 

Road Trips

I would like to have my nails done like this. 

(courtesy of: J'aime le pagne de chez moi)

(Courtesy of: J'aime le pagne de chez moi)

..... I want the jacket and shoes.

Lost, Dazed and Confused. B.K.A "Your 20's"

It shouldn't be a secret by now, but most people are coming to realize that your 20's are tough.  I am going through it and so are the rest of my friends, peers, and colleagues. When you are a child, you fantasize about being a "grown up", but when you become a grown up, you forget that you are no longer a child and spend a great deal of your time trying to figure out how to A) maintain your youth and B) still participate in the world as a fully functional adult.

I still don't have all the answers, but I have reached a point of clarity (this clarity could be temporary, but it feels good for now).  The truth is, when you are in the "real world" , you are told what it means to be an adult, but no one really tells you how to get there and still have your sanity. For example, you are told to get a job, pay your bills, live on your own etc. But what about the fact that your job shouldn't feel like a prison, but because you HAVE to work as an adult, you stay at your job and slowly die a little each hour that ticks by. No one should want or have to work for a pay check, you should also want to work for fulfillment, joy and pleasure. I mean, what's the use of getting up, going to work and then not even enjoying the fruits of your labor? So when you start to ask yourself these questions, you begin to feel crazy. But you aren't, trust me. It is normal to wonder about these things and it is normal to not want to live your life based on what society is telling you to do. Hence, your 20's- the time for you to figure it all out.   I am in no way saying do not work, I am just saying do work in shit you do like to do and if you don't know what you like to do, try some shit out till something fits.

Don't feel like you are the only who doesn't have their "shit together". I know people in their 50's who don't have their shit together.  Point is, does anyone every really have their entire life together?  I don't think they do.  I think, at best, you reach a point where you are content with what you have done with yourself. To get to that point though, you have to establish a foundation. Your foundation is important, it is what you will stand on and is ultimately a large part of who you are.  Your foundation is what you should be trying to accomplish right now. All you need is a baseline, something firm at its core, but allows for changes and modifications. Life happens, so everything is subject to change, but if you have a baseline, then you have something to go back to.  Your foundation should be your own beliefs, wants, needs and desires for your life. Its crazy how quickly we forget that only we can live our lives for ourselves. I know that is easier said than done, hell I struggle with it every day, but its possible and necessary. Once you create your own code to live by and start doing that, I think we will find that we feel much better about our choices and direction.

We have to remember to be grateful for what we have and not harp on everything wrong occurring at the time. This is something I tend to do- like a lot. One little thing goes wrong, and I'm downing drinks at a local bar talking about "Woe is me. Lawd take me now!!".  Of course, the next day (or realistically, a few days later) something amazing happens and I'm tap dancing in my closet, having a private party. Point is, LIFE has ups and down, but shit don't stay down forever. Everything is going to be OK, it has to be. However, I know that doesn't change the fact that some days you wake up just not knowing what the fuck you are doing here on this planet. I just spoke to a friend last night and explained to her that some days I wake up and feel completely disorientated. You know like when you wake form a crazy dream and look around trying to figure out if you are in your home, in your bed? Yea, its happens man. The key thing though, is 1) I am not alone in this and neither are you and 2) Every now and again, you have to re-adjust and re-focus. With that said, when things start to look like shit on a stick, just try to change your perspective on things, formulate  your next move and make your play. If it works, Bang Bang- you are in there. If not, try something else.

No one knows what they are doing, just some people are better at making it LOOK like they do more than others. I mean really, there isn't a manual on how to do shit. No one can tell you how to be the perfect parent, or student, or person.  Those are all things you have to do for yourself and once you are grounded in something that makes you feel good, then I think you are off to a good start. Just remember, you can't please everyone, so you might as well at least make sure YOU are taken care of at the end of the day. Embrace the confusion! Sounds strange but think about it-the more you resist, the harder it will be for you to get out. Its like quick sand or whatever- you fall in that shit and if you struggle, you sink faster. Try to be still, look around for something to pull yourself out. Got it? Good! Not everyday will be sunny, some days its gonna rain like shit. Just break out the umbrella and rain boots. If you don't have any, then you are fucked!! Sike. Find a place to chill until the storm passes. Ya dig? The 20's will be over soon enough, then we can worry about the fucking 30's and what the hell all that means.

Be Love, Peace and Light Ya'll

Kaleidoscope Dreams: Miguel

IT IS HERE!!!! Miguel finally stopped messing with our emotions by dropping 3-4 song teaser albums. His second studio album, Kaleidoscope Dream, was worth the wait. I think Miguel is an artist that will be around for a while. The kid is clearly talented and his music is not junk. It is rare these days that we get quality RnB - hell its rare to get quality music in general.  Support your boy and buy his album, I am almost positive you won't regret it.

Here is the track listing in case you just wanna sample it a bit on Youtube or something like that. Some of my favorites include: 

Adorn

Do you

The Thrill

Pussy is Mine

Candles in the Sun

How Many Drinks

Don't Look Back

National Womb Day...

What will be interesting about this blog, is my honest attempt to have and maintain it. In doing so, I have recognized that there will be times when I'll share some private and personal things with the world. I'm not too sure I am 100% OK with that, but I suppose it is worth a try. Why not start here, as in today, like now.

The 9-5 was as long as it has been in a while. For 8 hours, my emotions peeked and dropped. It was like an emotional menopause- hot then cold then hot again- and I was uneasy. To make matters worse, I couldn't tell you what the problem was, although I do have a clue. Its that wonderful red dart that gets thrown into my mix once a month....every fucking month. Yup, my period. I kind of hate that its referred to as a period. I once had a significant other, if I can call him that, who asked me if I was "on my flow"- my flow??? Don't know why, but that term annoys me too. Actually, at this point, everything annoys me. I am not here to list my annoyances though, I just want to express how awful a menstrual cycle is and how as a woman,  I have to hide it and walk around like I'm not bleeding and in discomfort. For starters, shit pops off BEFORE you even start to "flow". Your back hurts, your uterus is doing flips and karate chops, your head hurts and your emotions are on 1000.  Point is, you don't know if you are coming or going. To top it off, you have to go on about your day as if everything is normal when you just wanna lay in your bed and relax. 

As a woman, I honestly feel as though I should not have to do a damn thing when I am menstruating. In fact, I should be pampered and spoiled and given wine through out the day in honor of my womb and the things I go through.  That's right, my womb should be honored and my body should be rested.  I don't know how many times I have wished a menstrual cycle upon men just so they would understand.  When I go to work and I have to deal with people, I visualize myself screaming " MY VAGINA IS BLEEDING. Please leave me alone". But, we know that would be "inappropriate". So instead, I go about my life pretending everything is confetti cake icing, shoving sanitary napkins and tampons into pockets and holes where they can't be seen, so that other people aren't uncomfortable - and by other people, I mean men. Ain't that a bitch, I'm the one bleeding and cramping and I have to worry about a man's comfort. I think that from this point on, I won't act like I am ashamed of menstruation. Its a normal part of life. I am a woman and having a cycle is a large part of what makes me a female. I can only hope that one day, all females rebel against this terrible assault against our femininity by no longer hiding something that is so natural.  I also hope, that one day, a law of some sort is created that gives women a spa trip during our "special season". OK, that isn't really gonna happen, but damn can I at least get a few days off from the world so I can chill and recoup??



Be Love, Peace and Light Ya'll